Plebiscite Now

I support same-sex marriage. Or whatever the politically term is today, marriage equality? non-denominational pagantastic melding of the wizard robes? As a conservative, I support anything that strengthens the family unit. Indeed, I hope that one day I have my own legally recognised wedding ceremony, that is, like all gay weddings, barefoot and be-pasteled on a Hawaiian beach, officiated by a linen-suited lesbian. This stock photo is basically the Facebook feed of my late twenties:

linenlesbian

Same-sex marriage needs to become law in Australia as soon as possible. And that means plebiscite.

The idea of a plebiscite makes me sick. I shouldn’t have to vote for my rights, and I don’t want my homophobic grandparents voting on them either. But it needs to be done so that gay families have the stability that they need to thrive. There is all this talk about ‘mental health issues’ that would arise from having a politically funded anti-same sex marriage campaign, but I argue that it is worse to have all this uncertainty surrounding the legal status of marriage, parenting and child access. Anyway, rejecting the plebiscite out of the concern of the mental health of gay people is just a distraction. Since when has the government been concerned about the mental health of gay people? The debate keeps going in circles because it is in none of the major party’s interests to resolve this issue:

 

  • The Greens want to the issue to be dragged out as long as possible as a distraction from how vacuous their other policies are.
  • Labor wants to be able to appear progressive without doing anything that would upset their tradie base’s prime position in Australian cultural discourse.
  • The Liberals want to hold off on the break up of their party as long as possible by doing nothing controversial.

I fear that the momentum for same-sex marriage is already gone and the plebiscite was the last chance for many years to get it done. Chaos is coming. The fracturing of parliament into smaller one-issue parties is going to get worse. Next year may see the emergence of Corey Bernadi’s new conservative party or an extreme right-wing take over of the Liberals. In the worldwide upheaval coming next year, same-sex marriage is going to be completely forgotten.

We had our chance to resolve this. The plebiscite would have been nasty, but gay people need to stop being the victims the left teaches them to be and get this resolved for future gay generations in Australia. It’s like sex with a 10 inch Brazilian. You just have to take a panadol, grit your teeth, and get it done. Also remember to breathe out.

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