Ten traffic light pedestrian figures will be changed to women in Melbourne, with the aim to eventually make 50 percent of pedestrian walk signs into female figures. The stated aim is to ‘reduce unconscious gender bias’.
Says Victorian Minister for Women Fiona Richardson, “There are many small — but symbolically significant — ways that women are excluded from public space”.
For a moment let’s leave aside the fact that this is patronising, a waste of money, ignores real issues women face and only serves to reinforce the view of feminists as nagging harpies. If indeed we all need to be represented in traffic pedestrian signals, lest we collapse into a shrieking mess every time we cross the road, here are some pedestrian – AND VIRTUE! – signalling ideas that truly represent Melbourne:
- A green female figure with bright pink hair, to represent the feminists.
- A green female figure that turns red monthly when blood pours from her vagina.
- A green figure in a burqa, or even a little green ISIS man smashing little green ancient relics.
- Just a big sign that says “Boycott Israel”.
- A figure that alternates between a green man and a red woman at random times with no relation to actual traffic conditions that yells at you if you get its pronouns wrong.
- In a tribute to ‘rape culture’ and today’s undebatable feminists, just a big red signal that says NO MEANS NO and doesn’t let anyone cross the road.
- A gay man in a sling that alternates between yellow and red depending on what he’s chasing.
- Green refugees that will not actually live in any Green seats.
- A big Adam Bandt face, 1984 style.
- Emma Watson with her tits cut off.
Gosh, when I put it like this, the idea of gender specific traffic lights seems almost ridiculous!