Gender Biased Traffic Lights

Ten traffic light pedestrian figures will be changed to women in Melbourne, with the aim to eventually make 50 percent of pedestrian walk signs into female figures. The stated aim is to ‘reduce unconscious gender bias’.

Says Victorian Minister for Women Fiona Richardson, “There are many small — but symbolically significant — ways that women are excluded from public space”.

For a moment let’s leave aside the fact that this is patronising, a waste of money, ignores real issues women face and only serves to reinforce the view of feminists as nagging harpies. If indeed we all need to be represented in traffic pedestrian signals, lest we collapse into a shrieking mess every time we cross the road, here are some pedestrian – AND VIRTUE! – signalling ideas that truly represent Melbourne:

  • A green female figure with bright pink hair, to represent the feminists.
  • A green female figure that turns red monthly when blood pours from her vagina.
  • A green figure in a burqa, or even a little green ISIS man smashing little green ancient relics.
  • Just a big sign that says “Boycott Israel”.
  • A figure that alternates between a green man and a red woman at random times with no relation to actual traffic conditions that yells at you if you get its pronouns wrong.
  • In a tribute to ‘rape culture’ and today’s undebatable feminists, just a big red signal that says NO MEANS NO and doesn’t let anyone cross the road.
  • A gay man in a sling that alternates between yellow and red depending on what he’s chasing.
  • Green refugees that will not actually live in any Green seats.
  • A big Adam Bandt face, 1984 style.
  • Emma Watson with her tits cut off.

Gosh, when I put it like this, the idea of gender specific traffic lights seems almost ridiculous!

One comment

  1. Reblogged this on deadspidereye and commented:
    You know that little green walking stick figure that lights up when you press the button at pedestrian crossings? Well it’s a man in case you didn’t know. Holy shit man, who knew that an illuminated sigh could encapsulate a sexual identity? Well this state of affairs just wont do, it means that there’re no little green women flashing their stuff to tell the ladies to cross the road, fuck, just how’ve they coped stranded on the wrong side of the road all these years? Happily a solution is at hand, make half of the figures women instead of men. Of course why didn’t we think of this before? Wait a minute, how are we going to achieve this exactly, genital detail would seem somewhat incongruous is such contexts and a little hard to recognise from a distance too. Well the solution to that seems to be— wait for it–to place a dress on the figure. Holy fucking shit, now’s the time to reappraising the prospect of eugenics because this fucking dumb shit just has to be the product of bad genes.

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