At the start of the year I posted a list of predictions for Australia in 2017. As it turns out, the world is falling apart quicker than I thought. Here’s how some of the predictions are going:
- Australia’s position in the world:
Despite a flurry of attention from late-night hosts doing terrible Australian accents after Trump and Turnbull’s phone call, Australia is mostly being ignored on the world stage. Things are so desperate that Turnbull invited Indonesian President Joko Widodo to Australia for the first time and the media hasn’t stopped talking about it for two weeks. Sigh, call me when Australia gets a visit from a Shinzo Abe or higher.
- Western Australia state election:
The Liberals might actually pull this off, thanks to an unexpected deal with One Nation. Only three days until we find out if Colin Barnett is going to be given the traditional West Australian politician send off – dropped from a plane into the Pilbara with no supplies so that he can become one with the iron ore. If he emerges from the desert triumphant he is given Western Australia’s highest honour: Mining Consultant.
- Retail collapses:
Already this year Australia has seen the collapse of clothing retailers Herringbone, Rhodes & Beckett, Marcs and David Lawrence. Allphones also went bye-bye, thus depriving us of the only place to buy a decent phone charger after 5 pm. Amazon is expected to launch in Australia by the end of the year, cutting a scythe through local retailers. This could be a wake-up call to the government that an environment where commercial and residential rents keep rising but wages stay the same is going to end poorly for everyone, but I don’t expect them to do much of anything…about anything.
- Obama’s legacy:
His web of lies and surveillance is quickly unravelling. It’s beautiful. I predict no more smarmy water skiing photos after his full corruption is exposed to the American people.
- Has Cory Bernardi released a nude calendar to fund his new party?
No, but a boy can dream.
- Is Turnbull still Prime Minister?
Let’s check on that in a few days.