Love is Blind Items

They tell me because they regard me as safe. All of them, they make their disclosures to me in the same spirit that they might tell a castrato or a priest – with a sense that I am so outside the loop, so remote from the doings of the great world, as to be defused of any possible threat. The number of secrets I receive is in inverse proportion to the number of secrets anyone expects me to have of my own. And this is the real source of my dismay. Being told secrets is not – never has been – a sign that I belong or that I matter. It is quite the opposite: confirmation of my irrelevance.

– Zoe Heller, Notes on a Scandal

The above quote sums up how it is that I have come to be burdened with some deep secrets of the LGBT community. I take pride in keeping the confidences of others, even when I suspect their confidence in me is more to do with my position outside the gay community than any real personal trust.

But with the gay activists pushing the ‘Yes’ case for marriage equality in Australia becoming increasingly demented, I’ve decided to loosen my tongue. Why should they claim the moral high ground when their own behaviour is questionable? In my last blog post I talked about my own hypocrisy, now I will reveal theirs:

• There are the two mid-forties males who the media presents as the poster couple for stable monogamous gay relationships, but who in actuality have an official third in their relationship – an 18 year old. Their secrecy around this is so absolute that they have even installed a secret back entrance in their house so that their establishment neighbours do not see him coming and going. You may recall a similar relationship ending poorly for the founder of Lenard’s Chicken.
• There is the genderqueer activist who is no longer allowed to be unsupervised with a young female relative after the last time she babysat resulted in the young girl using terms for her genitals that were “incongruent with her stage of sexual development”.
• There is the gay male leftist power couple seen at every rally kissing as publicly and explicitly as they can – but who privately never touch each other, only having sex with strangers from apps and using the encounters to manipulate each other’s mental health. I call their relationship ‘Who’s Afraid of Virginia Fisting’
• There is the campus queer activist who has been unofficially warned about their predatory behaviour towards the first-year students, both male and female, but has everyone too scared of their wrath to have it taken any further.
• There is the polyamory proponent who declares free love for all – but dropped his latest boyfriend instantly when he found out he was ethnically Jewish.

Now, let’s have a little less of the moral grandstanding, shall we?

Bonus secret: Which high-profile AFL player is in a sham relationship to hide his true sexuality? The truth will not shock you.