Review: Milo Yiannopoulos Troll Academy

20171204_184710Milo Yiannopoulos’s Melbourne stop of his Troll Academy tour was a blast! What fun to be physically on the front line of a debate that until now for me has mostly played out online! I’ve never before been to an event that has attracted protesters, or been to one that necessitated a secret venue where the invitation didn’t say ‘BYO lube’. So it was with some trepidation I approached the Melbourne Pavilion where Milo was to speak. After all, I didn’t want to get a bike lock to the head. But I shouldn’t have been worried; there was almost as many police as protesters. And unlike America, where the police have been ordered to let protesters burn cities down as not to infringe on their ‘civil rights’, Australian police don’t mess around. Protesters and those lining up to get inside were kept on opposite sides of the road and any attempt to breach that line was met with full riot squads. They could still yell and swear at us though, which was exciting. Talk about feeling dangerous!

You couldn’t come up with a better metaphor for the two sides of politics than the two sides of that road. On one side we had the well-dressed attendees lining up quietly and politely discussing politics with strangers around them. Unlike The Age newspaper reports, it was not mostly men, nor were they all white. Men and women of all ages and races came together to defend free speech. Also, SO many hot guys with muscled arms. On the other side of the road we had the dirty protesters dressed in rags screaming foul-mouthed slogans. It was a small crowd, made up of all the usual activists and unions. I’m pretty sure I saw Safe Schools founder Roz Ward in the crowd, disseminating her genders.

The show itself was fantastic. Milo has an incredible stage presence and a charisma that you can’t fully appreciate watching him online. He spent the full show at 110 percent energy and engaged with the crowd throughout – no mean feat considering he does three shows a night. And he kept his sense of humour; there was none of that haranguing, self-righteous feeling you get from watching certain leftist ‘comedians’. I must apologise for a previous blog post in which I called him a shill. It’s clear that he genuinely believes what he’s saying and enjoys sharing his message. The joy wouldn’t be so infectious if he didn’t.

I was pleased that a large part of the show was Australia-focused. A lazier speaker would have used an old America-centric script and given the standard Trump talking points. We still would have cheered, but it wouldn’t have been the same. Milo knows our country. And he knows the smarmy Australian media personalities who need to be taken down a peg. The Age reports that Milo went after the ‘usual targets’, but the fact is that these aren’t the usual targets; they are the identities that the mainstream media has been beatifying as representatives of modern Australian thought. It’s quite enjoyable to leave my inner-city bubble and find people who agree that not only does Waleed Aly not ‘nail it’, but that he in fact leads a fifth column of anti-western saboteurs intent on destroying Australia’s sacred institutions and implementing in their place globalist group-think. And that Clementine Ford is just a cunt.

One of my favourite parts was Milo’s takedown of Aboriginal art. It’s clear how much Australia has succumbed to political correctness when we need someone to come in from overseas to say what many people here have long thought but have been to scared to say: that aboriginal art is shit. There is no skill or mystery to it. I’m not just saying that because in a high school art show my nuanced evocative landscape that I spent hours on lost a prize to a painting by an aboriginal girl of three yellow circles on a blue background. It was called ‘Waterwells’ or something. The water wasn’t even the blue part! No. Aboriginal art is generally bad and mostly purchased to alleviate feelings of white guilt. Thank you, Milo, for starting the national conversation.

I’m so glad Milo came to Australia. It’s energising to find that even in this liberal city there are people who proudly wear MAGA hats and call out the bullshit of the Left, or at least can have a rational conversation. It certainly makes one feel less alone. The best part of the night was when we all left and for a moment the streets of Melbourne were swarming with well-dressed hot guys with nice arms holding Trump flags and copies of Milo’s book. It gives me hope for the future, or at least for finding a husband.

Speaking of, history was made this week with Australian Parliament’s first gay marriage proposal when Tim Wilson proposed to his hot partner with the big hair. I would like to congratulate them and let them know that should they seek out a third for the marital bed I promise not to write about it in a blind item column.

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