Back off the Front Hole

Farewell, vaginas. You had a good run. Despite some 3.2 billion people in the world possessing you, you are now exclusionary and transphobic. Womanhood has been redefined and there is no more place for you.

The trans activist community has gone from telling us not to associate vaginas with women to telling us not to mention them at all in case we offend someone with one who doesn’t want it, or someone without one who does. Then, worst of all, there are the non-binaries, who shout down any mention of the word vagina because they do not identify with this medical term and using it is not inclusive of what they consider their non-gendered, though suspiciously vaginal looking, genitalia. In the name of ‘inclusion’, vaginas have been removed from the context of pregnancy, abortion, motherhood and reproductive health. Forget the patriarchy, the real war on women comes from trans and non-binary activists pushing their own vaginal-erasure agenda. Sometimes I don’t think they will be happy until every cis women is stitched up down there Somalian style.

The latest vagina erasure is from Healthline, who in their latest safe-sex guide want us to replace ‘vagina’ with ‘front hole’.

Front hole? Really? They don’t see that as offensive to women? Was ‘slut-bitch whore-cunt’ already taken? If we must replace vagina, here are 10 non-gendered, much nicer options:

  • Inside-out downstairs boob
  • Baby bum-hole
  • Tunnel of gender studies
  • Gender-queer, cunt-like smear (chanted in sing-song unison by finger pointing children)
  • The ol’ Ruby Rose rut
  • Liquorice none-sorts
  • Page intentionally left blank
  • Mr Brown’s non-binary neighbour
  • Soccer player standing at the entrance of a flooded cave
  • Just mouthing the word “That” while nodding slightly downwards.

 

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