Going Postal Votes

linenlesbian

Today the deflating souffle that is Australia’s leadership voted down the plan for a compulsory national plebiscite on same-sex marriage and instead the measure will go to a non-compulsory postal ballot costing $122 million dollars. Will this process ever bloody end? Attorney-General George Brandis says same-sex marriage will be law by Christmas. I think there’s a greater chance that by Christmas he’ll be nibbling mince pies in the London Embassy.

There are worse ways to decide this, I suppose. As a precedent for the Australian government asking the public for opinion on policy, Mathias Cormann cites the 1974 phone poll of 60,000 randomly selected Australians to ask for their view on changing the national anthem. Try that these days and not only will the participants skew heavily towards the older generation who still have landlines, but you’ll end up with a result of 50 percent for ‘yes’ and 50 percent for ‘fuck off calling me a dinner time, call again I’ll shove the phone up your bloody arse’

So with a postal vote all but certain (today at least), here is a list of pros and cons of this political shirking of duty by democracy:

Con: Waste of my money and time

Fact: That money would have been wasted anyway. And you spent all day yesterday on the couch watching The Bachelor. Shut up.

Pro: Will be run by the Australian Bureau of Statistics, not the Australian Electoral Commission, which means the government does not need senate approval to fund the vote. Hopefully that means that the activists determined to stop the vote will not be able to.

Con: The Australian Bureau of Statistics crashed out on the census and they had five years to plan. This would have to happen in months. Also, the legal challenges have already begun.

Pros: Postal ballots can’t be hacked by the Russians.

Cons: If the ABS stuffs this up they’ll probably blame hackers anyway.

Pro: Avoids ugly scenes at polling stations and removes people who would vote no out of resentment for having to show up.

Con: No plebiscite day sausages.

Pro: Only people who feel strongly about the issue will vote.

Con: This could result in a near 50/50 split similar to Brexit.

Pro: Brexit was the reclamation of sovereignty from a corrupt elitist system whose only goal is to enrich itself through the total control of all aspects of society.

Con: Entitled millennials dressed in the European Union flag.

Pro: There might be enough self-righteous millennials to push the ‘yes’ case over the line for same-sex marriage.

Con: Ugh, millennials.

Pro: Once same-sex marriage gets passed they might shut up.

Con: You know they won’t. One shudders to think what deluded activism they might take up in the absence of the marriage equality fight.

Pro: I wouldn’t have to go to anymore Marriage Equality fundraisers and listen to that terrible choir.

Con: The postal vote only means that parliament gets a free vote and the law might still not get passed.

Pro: There is most likely enough votes to pass marriage equality in parliament and by the end of the year same-sex couples will have the right to marry and enjoy the legal protections that that entails under Australian law.

Con: Regardless of the result, the Liberal government tears itself apart and Bill Shorten becomes our next Prime Minister.

Sigh. Well Liberal Pride Launch will be interesting now!

 

 

Gay bashings still ignored in Australia

like the fatal blossom of the graceful jimson weed

At least 5 gay men were severely bashed in Perth, Western Australia, earlier this year by a man who misrepresented himself on Grindr and lured them to parks at night. I confess personal connection to this case; one of the victims is a close friend who has been deeply traumatised. Another victim has critical head injuries.

In an era where, to quote the liberal media, LGBT people are apparently “literally fighting for their lives”, one would think this would be major news. There were only two small mentions in the mainstream news: a four sentence article at the bottom of page 14 of the West Australian newspaper on March 14 and a small news segment that has been posted online:

https://thewest.com.au/news/crime/gay-bashing-bc-5357468909001

To Channel 7’s credit, they are doing more than would be expected from the mainstream media in a conservative state. What is disappointing to me is that there is no mention of these events anywhere in the gay press. I can find no coverage on outinperth.com or starobserver.com.au. Samesame.com.au is down (oh no! how else will I find out when Mardi Gras is?), but a search of the archives reveals nothing. If someone could prove me wrong on any of this, I would be very happy.

I know for a fact these gay bashings were being discussed in person and online as they were occurring. The Perth gay community is a one degree of separation kind of place and I find it inconceivable that those running the gay media did not hear about them.

Why the silence?

Maybe it’s because cis gay men aren’t ‘intersectional’ enough to be allowed as the face of LGBT victimisation, even when being chased and stomped on.

Maybe gay men cruising for anonymous sex in parks is too old fashioned for the new ‘queer’ rendering of smiling transgender children and resistance rallies. It wouldn’t fit the narrative pushed by the sanctimonious marriage queens, either.

Maybe had this story been published early in the bashing season some men may have been saved. Instead, it fell victim to the identity politics and infighting that is tearing apart the LGBT community. In the 1980s dozens of gay men were murdered on Sydney’s Northern beaches and the media never reported it. I feel deep shame that today the silence is from our own community.

NB. In the course of my gay media research I ended up pouring through a lot of clubbing photos and I have some advice for the twinks: if you’re going to party with your jeans half down your bum, don’t wear your Kmart undies.

Bigoted Beer Boycotts and Backlashes

BeerBigotEdit

The do-gooders are boycotting Coopers Brewery beers in Australia after the family-owned business created a video with two Liberal MPs, one of whom is openly gay, debating marriage equality over a beer. The problem not being what was said, but the fact that marriage equality was debated at all. In this country any opinion that wavers from the marriage equality line is branded hate speech. A look at Coopers twitter feed will show this is no exaggeration. The activists had a field day, all trying to out virtue signal each other in their disposal of Coopers products. The staff at a gay bar gleefully smashed the bottles one by one. How happy they were to finally be oppressed!

Why must everything we do become political? I was talking to my most leftist acquaintance, a man who talk to for an extended period I require not just beer but hard liquor and psychotropic substances, and he mentioned he only frequents businesses that advertise in the gay papers. Not only did he want to support businesses that support the gay community (they are of course allies, not just grabbing that sweet, sweet pink dollar) but he was concerned about being discriminated against when the topic of him being gay comes up. And for him it will come up. This is a problem I’ve never faced before. I guess I’m just old fashioned in that I keep conversation with my dentist to the weather and sport, not what I stick up my bum.

Now Immigration Minister Peter Dutton is in on the controversy, telling Australian CEOs not to use their positions – and shareholder money- to push social agendas. He has a point. We are becoming like America, where minimum wage retail and hospitality workers just trying to make a living are on the front line of endless boycotts, backlashes, and political posturing.

Yesterday it was time to take a stand against this madness!
I was going to drink a cold Coopers beer and stand up to the leftist bullies!
I don’t actually like Coopers Beer, but this was for freedom!

I went down to the bottle shop in full fight mode, ready to take on anyone who told me I was a hateful bigot for buying this beer, but the store was empty and the cashier semi-conscious. I walked all the way home unchallenged, and with my empty political gesture done for the week, I had nothing else to do. So I necked the four-pack while watching The Real Housewives of Sydney, got very windy and bloated and passed out by 6 pm. I think that puts me about the level of an anti-Trump protest.

 

 

Plebiscite Then

liamhemsworth

Why am I leading this post with a photo of Liam Hemsworth? Its not just to bring the thirsty, thirsty gays to this site.

Last Saturday marked the date of what was supposed to be Australia’s same-sex marriage plebiscite. If, instead of arguing over the ‘right’ way to achieve marriage equality, we had toughed it out and gone through with the damn thing, there would be many happy gay couples legally married today.

And I would be married to Liam Hemsworth. The lack of plebiscite is the only thing preventing that…yeah…excuse me while I put on this soiled wedding dress and cry into my Lean Cuisine…

Predictions for 2017

I thought I had more time to run this list before the world started imploding again this year. I was wrong. Thank you, Islamic State and Sussan Ley. So here is a belated list of predictions for 2017

The good:

  • The Liberals lose the March state election in Western Australia. Though I support the Liberal party, there is no way Colin Barnett will step down without being kicked out of office, and he needs to go. The amount of waste, cronyism, corruption and general incompetence from that government is astounding. There is a reckoning to come for those who got greedy during the mining boom and poured the profits into ugly vanity projects (no ones’s looking at you, Elizabeth Quay) or their own pockets. Massive corruption will be exposed on a scale not seen since the Fitzgerald Inquiry.
  • The Federal government will have a rocky year, but Malcolm Turnbull will hang on, if only for the fact that they do not want to risk another leadership spill this soon. Like John Howard, he has an unstable first term complete with travel expenses scandal, but eventually becomes a respected, if not widely loved, leader.
  • Marine Le Pen wins the French election and France finally decides to crack down on that whole ‘people being mowed down in the street’ thing.
  • Brexit is mostly uneventful and living standards in Britain rise for the first time in 8 years. Used as a roadmap to sovereignty for other countries, the collapse of the European Union becomes inevitable. There is much rejoicing.
  • Assad takes back most of Syria. There is much state-mandated rejoicing among the few Syrians not currently collecting unemployment benefits in Germany.

The bad:

  • Australia suffers its first major mass causality terrorist attack from ISIS, most likely in Melbourne on a Jewish or Christian place of worship. This increases One Nation’s voter share. If the terrorist attack occurs before the WA election in March, One Nation becomes a major force in the WA government no matter who wins.
  • There is a series of high profile retailer collapses in Australia due to competition from overseas and reduced consumer spending. Big W will not exist by the end of the year, Target maybe. JB Hi Fi still a thing for some reason.
  • Same-sex marriage in Australia is mostly forgotten.
  • Australia becomes a forgotten wet stain on the mattress between its parents, the USA and China. We will have very little control over the forces that influence our economy and regional security, despite Tony Abbott’s frequent flights over the South China Sea in an F-35A.
  • Islamic terrorist attacks continue across the western world as ISIS retreats from the Middle East and western governments let terrorists back in because of ‘human rights’ or some such nonsense.
  • Merkel is re-elected in Germany due to ineffective opposition and residual WW2 guilt. Regret is instant and hymen-destroying.
  • Obama’s legacy continues to turn to dust, which is good, but he doesn’t stop his snide commentary and the Huff Post runs endless think pieces on his every word. Death is welcomed.

The unknown:

  • Property prices. At this stage, honestly, who the fuck knows.
  • Trump. If he survives the inauguration without being assassinated he could actually be an effective leader. Cities in the US burn regardless as the left and right fight for dominance.

Stock up on canned food and amyl, it’s going to be one hell of a year!

Plebiscite Now

I support same-sex marriage. Or whatever the politically term is today, marriage equality? non-denominational pagantastic melding of the wizard robes? As a conservative, I support anything that strengthens the family unit. Indeed, I hope that one day I have my own legally recognised wedding ceremony, that is, like all gay weddings, barefoot and be-pasteled on a Hawaiian beach, officiated by a linen-suited lesbian. This stock photo is basically the Facebook feed of my late twenties:

linenlesbian

Same-sex marriage needs to become law in Australia as soon as possible. And that means plebiscite.

The idea of a plebiscite makes me sick. I shouldn’t have to vote for my rights, and I don’t want my homophobic grandparents voting on them either. But it needs to be done so that gay families have the stability that they need to thrive. There is all this talk about ‘mental health issues’ that would arise from having a politically funded anti-same sex marriage campaign, but I argue that it is worse to have all this uncertainty surrounding the legal status of marriage, parenting and child access. Anyway, rejecting the plebiscite out of the concern of the mental health of gay people is just a distraction. Since when has the government been concerned about the mental health of gay people? The debate keeps going in circles because it is in none of the major party’s interests to resolve this issue:

 

  • The Greens want to the issue to be dragged out as long as possible as a distraction from how vacuous their other policies are.
  • Labor wants to be able to appear progressive without doing anything that would upset their tradie base’s prime position in Australian cultural discourse.
  • The Liberals want to hold off on the break up of their party as long as possible by doing nothing controversial.

I fear that the momentum for same-sex marriage is already gone and the plebiscite was the last chance for many years to get it done. Chaos is coming. The fracturing of parliament into smaller one-issue parties is going to get worse. Next year may see the emergence of Corey Bernadi’s new conservative party or an extreme right-wing take over of the Liberals. In the worldwide upheaval coming next year, same-sex marriage is going to be completely forgotten.

We had our chance to resolve this. The plebiscite would have been nasty, but gay people need to stop being the victims the left teaches them to be and get this resolved for future gay generations in Australia. It’s like sex with a 10 inch Brazilian. You just have to take a panadol, grit your teeth, and get it done. Also remember to breathe out.